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Keeping priorities

Choosing family over work when that is the difficult decision to make

I’m on a plane, flying home from Georgia a day early.  I’ll miss a number of scheduled interviews with potential candidates for operations roles, an in-person meeting with the chairman of my board, and meaningful time with my newly hired CMO, as we continue to craft our business model and revenue projections for 2017.  I’m exhausted after working until 11pm for two days in a row, and I’m cranky.

But I don’t regret this flight one bit.  You see, when I woke up this morning, I peed in my little plastic cup, and the blue tester strip had two stripes (I tested it twice to be sure).  Before you get excited, no, I’m not pregnant.  Yet.

But I am ovulating…

Those of you who know me well and who have read this blog have criticized me for over-sharing, and this is going to be one of those posts.  Fair warning.  But it’s an important moment in my life, and I feel the need to share.

And I’ve just noticed how little I’ve been writing lately.  Since we’ve been home from the honeymoon, life has gotten…well…hectic.  Our days have been filled with meeting aggressive deadlines at work and building out our new nest at home, and I’ve had fewer and fewer free moments to think and write.

And when I have had the opportunity, I’ve just been too exhausted to open the laptop, yet again (after work and online furniture shopping) to think deep thoughts about life, our relationship and the future.  I’ve just been overwhelmed.

But this morning, I felt an overwhelming urge to write again.  I felt a surge of excitement that I haven’t felt since I was traveling.  And I felt pure clarity in what I needed to do.

Today, and only today (for the next month, at least), we can make a baby.  And damnit, I’m not going to let anything get in the way of that priority.  In previous posts, I’ve called this out as my strangest secret, my truest desire, and I’ve asked many for you for help in keeping me accountable to it.

Well friends, today I am proud to say that I am staying true to my truest desire and my commitment to myself and Andrew to show up when it matters.  I haven’t even told Andrew yet because I know he’ll scold me for putting work on the back burner for this, but I know in my heart of hearts where I need to be in this moment, and it is at home, with my lover and baby daddy.

It is on days like today that I am tested.  It is an indicator of future days.  When the baby is sick.  Or when Andrew gets bad news at work.  Or when a birthday falls on a board meeting week or a dance recital overlaps with a sales pitch.  Today marks the first of many days when I put my family first.