While eating dinner last night at the coziest restaurant in Barcelona (thanks to our wedding gift from Aunt Lisa and Cousin Bobbie), Andrew and I had the most tantalizing conversation. After nearly one year of dating, we are having the best sex of our lives. I am "in the mood" more often, we are flirting more than we have since our first week together, the foreplay is off the charts, and our connection is stronger than ever before (not to mention the award-winning orgasms).
Is this because we are on our honeymoon, after a romantic week-long wedding? Possibly. But we think we put our finger on a more likely verdict.
You see, since I was about 13 years old, I've been on birth control. I went on the pill prior to puberty because I was taking Accutane for my acne, and for my entire adult life thereafter, my hormones have been regulated. So, in all honesty, I never really knew what I was missing.
But the week prior to our wedding, we made the joint decision to stop taking birth control, start taking prenatals, and begin a baby-making mission. Since that moment, we've been doing like they do on the Discovery Channel. It has been So. Stinking. Cool.
Now, it hasn't all been roses for poor Andrew. I have to admit that I am far more emotional than usual, taking small things much more personally and finding arguments where arguments would otherwise not exist. This past month has definitely had its ups and downs, but I had no idea how wonderful it would feel to have every emotion, every urge, unregulated.
But back to the sex. After a long conversation last night, we decided that there is something a bit deeper than mere chemistry happening here. For our entire lives, we've only had sex for the sultry act of it. It was most often a selfish expression of a physical attraction. Steamy - yes. But intimate and meaningful? Oftentimes - no.
And we've both always held ourselves back from the idea of creating life with our encounters. In fact, that idea scared us to death. Up until now, I've reported with pride that I'm 35 with no children. I've always felt so "responsible." But what was I limiting in myself by restricting reproduction?
By now, three weeks in, we are rolling around in the idea. We are playing with the notion of making a baby, and we are making love with that intention in mind. In setting this intention, our love feels deeper, and when we make love, we feel like we are moving in the same direction.
I have to admit that I'm glad that I waited until I found my beloved, but now that I have, we are off the pill and loving every minute of it.
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