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Day 12:  Moving from body to mind, to body, to mind

What am I contributing if I'm not working? (Candace)

Santillana Del Mar to Comillas

Distance: 14.3 miles (23 kilometers)

Total Ascent:  320 meters

Difficulty:  3

Calories Burned: 3,321

This morning began quite strangely for us.  We loved our night’s stay at the Casona Solar de Hidalgos, so we decided to have breakfast there as well.  However, when we tried to sit, the manager was short and rude.  We were a bit thrown off because, when we met Jorge, the manager the night before, he was light and jovial and quite endearing.  Yet the man we were greeted by this morning was downright nasty.

He labored more than I’ve ever seen one man labor over a morning cake, tea and coffee, and it took him a good 60 minutes to deliver all of these items to our table.  And to make things worse, he was sweating profusely and looked as if he would pass out when he told us, “No toast!  No orange juice!”

We then went on to check out two hours later, only to be met by friendly Jorge again. 

Did we have a live Jeckle/Hyde encounter on our hands? 

Was our mind playing tricks on us? 

We later found out that the hotel is owned by two brothers, one clearly better at his job than the other.

We then began our hike for the day, but my stomach was really bothering me (Andrew keeps teasing about morning sickness), and Andrew’s knee was acting up again. 

Our friend, Kim, who recently completed the Camino, told us to expect our bodies to really hurt for the first ten days, then our minds to go a bit mad for the next ten, and then our spirit to take flight for the last ten.  Well, we are twelve days in, and our bodies and minds are both having a rough go. 

I’m worried about Andrew’s knees, and we had a talk today about what we would do if one or both of them go out on him. 

Will I continue the Camino? 

We decided that if there is more than 10 days to go, we’ll both call it quits and come back again, but if there are fewer than 10 days, I’ll finish the trek, and that can be our first 10 days apart during our honeymoon (I don’t think I’ve talked about this yet, but we’ve decided to spend 30 days together, followed by 10 days apart, throughout our honeymoon.  Should help us experience some independent adventures and maintain sanity.)

Now on the mind side of things, I have to admit that I am in the midst of my own personal battle in my “bad neighborhood” (otherwise known as the battlefield inside my head).  It has now been one month since I have not been working, and I’m struggling with determining my value when I’m not employed.  I am not particularly athletic or outdoorsy, and I don’t have the hunting and fishing stories that so many of our pilgrim friends share on the road.  All of my value seems to be in stories I offer about my past efforts, and I’m finding myself a bit…depressed.

Who am I when I’m not working? 

What is my value? 

How can I be a meaningful contributor to our new marriage when I don’t have answers to these questions?

I know that this trip is meant to help us to find answers to our questions, but these are my current aches and pains…

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